My mouse hovers over the record button as I stare at the sales page in front of me.

It's a from a client who's asked for feedback on their sales page.

I get several of these per month and prefer to give visual feedback in the form of a screen capture recording with me talking as I go.

And the feedback generally comes down to three main things.

*clicks record*

First, they usually don't spend enough time articulating the problem their offer solves. Some don't mention a problem at all, preferring to "focus on the positive".

But in my experience...

People don't pay
to solve problems
they don't think they have

So you need to make it abundantly clear WHO your solution is for, by showing you understand what they're going through and how crappy that is for them.

Second, they do a poor job of differentiating their solution from all the other options available to those who are looking to buy.

This usually happens because they haven't identified their "unique mechanism" yet. So when they talk about their thing it sounds just like everyone else's thing.

An example:

A client of mine has a communications course for women. It helps them learn to speak their truth in a way that requires others to stop and pay attention — without yelling, blaming or throwing a tantrum.

It's a very effective program that gets results despite these women having tried everything in the past with no real change, and yet it's still just another...

Communications Course
For Women

So I built the sales message around a unique idea or mechanism to differentiate ourselves from all the other communication courses available.

I called it...

The U.P.R. Protocol

U.P.R. stands for Unconditional Positive Regard, and it's a fancy way of saying "be nice to the other person and give them the benefit of the doubt".

It's similar to "Nonviolent Communication".

Carrying on:

Most people get the details of their program pretty well nailed, which makes sense since it's their thing and they know it intimately.

The one possible tendency is to over-focus on the "features" and undersell the benefits of those features.

Said differently, they don't focus enough on the outcome, the result, and what's possible in the future when the problem gets handled.

But the third thing I give the most amount of feedback on is text decoration and readability.

Most copy comes off as incredibly crowded and dense and imposing

It makes people
want to NOT read it

Fortunately, there are a few easy things anyone can do to dramatically improve the readability of their copy.

Key things to look for here:

Dense paragraphs — my general rule is no more than 3 lines per paragraph, but this can't always be managed, especially between computer screen & mobile phone (unless you're going to spend oodles of extra time formatting it differently for different devices, which sounds, to me, like a torturous way to spend your time)

see what I did there? ☝️
that's gotta look
awful on a phone. 🥴

  • Bold and underline (or both!) key words and phrases — you can also italicize as well
  • Vary the text layout — I've done just that in this post with sub-headlines throughout, regular body text and a bullet list that's indented
  • Use ellipses (...) and other punctation to break up the text

There are loads of other things you can (and should) look at when it comes to putting together a sales page that has an ice cube's chance in hell of converting, but that's your starter pack for today.

If you've got a sales page you need reviewed, let me know. You'll get a full breakdown of the most leveraged things you can do to improve it, starting with these three things, and then going much deeper.

Best if you're selling something worth $500 or more.

*stops recording*

I slide my mouse to the top-left corner of the screen and hit the Apple icon... the main menu appears, so I pull down and click:

Shut Down...

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